Library Humor

From: Closed Stacks Librarian's Blog

Is that funny?

24Feb09

I told a librarian joke the other day. A friend and I were talking about teaching and communicating and I made the comment “I’m just terrible at disseminating information.”

It wasn’t a joke so much as a smart-assed comment, but the person I was talking to had no idea I was trying to be funny.

“That was a joke,” I said, “That’s my job, as a librarian. That’s what we do.”

He just shrugged.

That got me thinking, there are bound to be a ton of librarian jokes out there that I haven’t heard (cause I haven’t really heard any). A profession as widely stereotyped as ours presents tons of opportunities. So I did some web-based research, and found a couple sites. Of course, all the jokes I found were all about stereotypes, but a few rang true enough.

Here are a few that I thought were cute:

The new school librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a ‘Contract’ for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a third grader who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought three books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech, he said scornfully, “The other librarian we had knew how to write.”

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A blonde walked into a library and said,
“Can I have a burger and fries?”
The librarian said, “Sorry, this is a library.”
So the blonde whispered, “Can I have a burger and fries?”

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An eight year girl is trying to check out a book entitled
” Advice for Young Mothers” from the local library.

Librarian: Now why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?

Little girl: I collect moths.
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Lightbulb Jokes:

How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb? Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!

How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.

How many cataloguers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one provided it is in AACR2.

How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb? (with a perky smile) “Well, I don’t know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!”

How many library system managers does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).

How many library managers does it take to change a lightbulb? At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.

How many library technicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8 if you count the librarian they all report to)