Do Ya Want ta Eat Wid da Fishes?

So, we were @ the beach in Ventura, minding our own business and watching the waves, when this guy approaches us. Now mind you, were were not dressed up, but for cold weather, and we're not all made up either.... just very casual.

So he introduces his self as "Angelo" and he's "looking for some girls." Well, you know he's not talking to us, we are Women (Older Women)..... But wait, he is talking to us! OMG!  So he starts running his mouth, as if we are to be impressed with him... but honestly, he looks, sounds & talks just like a stereotypical Italian gangster from the Bronx.... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(DISCLAIMER: This is Not actually Angelo, merely a very close facsimile we found on Google Images) 
 
Lo and Behold, he Is from the Bronx, and he is Italian, and better yet he is here to open up an "Underwater Italian Restaurant".  REALLY?  So the conversation goes like this:

A: "So would ya eat at my restaurant?"
M: "No"
A: "Why not?"
M: "The fault line"
A: "Huh"
M: "Dude, Earthquakes.....BIG ONES!"
A: "Nah I got the Japanese comin' in.... It's gonna be earthquake proof"
M: "Yeah? That's what they said about Fukishima!"
A: "Huh?"

Then he looks at us again and says: "Are you lovers? Is ok if you are, I don't mind if you're lovers!"   Wow, I so needed his approval.....

So from there it very rapidly went south, and him Never Once Getting a Clue..... But he kept on trying to up the ante w/ famous Investors: Stallone, Danza, Loggins & Brooke Shields. Then by saying he'd be serving "spaghetti & meatballs and pasta fazul. Instead of bread-sticks we're gonna serve pizza w/ every meal and FREE Wine!"

Continuing merrily along, Angelo tells me, how he's being stopped by the cops, Three (3) different times, but that he gave them coupons for his restaurant and they went away...  He doesn't understand why they would stop him? M: "Because, Dud, You Don't Match!"  A: "You mean my hair?"  At this point I look at his clothing, I look down at my sweats and stick out my legs for him to see... M: You just don't match!"  He never did get it... I told him to go someplace else, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, or even Santa Barbara....

Then he brings up John Gotti, saying he must look like he's working with the Gotti Family, but that he's not with them.... and have I ever heard of Jonh Gotti?  Really?

Finally I tell him: "Angelo, That's enough. Buona Notte."  So he shakes my hand & goes on to a group of three young guys on the beach.

Oh the highlight of my day.... But maybe I should have taken his number, I know someone I work with I'd liked to have set him up with......