About Me

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For me it is All About Being of Service & Living the Life of the Give-Away....

Being Mindful of those who are unable to speak for themselves; our Non-Two Legged Relations and the Future Generations.

It's about walking on the Canka Luta Waste Behind the Cannunpa and the ceremonies.

It's about Mindfulness and Respect. It's about Honesty and owning up to my foibles.

It's about: Mi Takuye Oyacin

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Fracking Is Frkd

Center for Biological Diversity

Dear Auntie NanuuqFracking rig

Fracking, a dangerous and rapidly spreading oil and gas drilling technique, already occurs in California. It poses grave risks to our water, air and wildlife. And with the largest shale oil reserves in the country, our state faces a looming fracking boom.

Fracking emits methane -- a highly potent greenhouse gas -- and opens up new areas for fossil fuel development at a time when we need to rapidly transition to a clean- and renewable-energy future.

The best way to protect our state from this growing threat is to prohibit the dangerous practice. Californians now have an opportunity to push for a fracking ban.

Please ask your state legislators to impose a ban on fracking in California before irreversible damage is done to our wildlife, land and water. If you live in the San Francisco area, join the Center on Friday, Feb. 1 at a creative protest to tell the federal government not to frack our public lands. Click here to learn more and RSVP for the event.
Click here to take action and get more information.
If you can't open the link, go to http://action.biologicaldiversity.org/p/dia/action3/common/public/?action_KEY=12334.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Placing Blame.....

Elder's Meditation of the Day - January 23
"Our true enemies, as well as our true sources
of strength, lie within."
-- Willaru Huayta, QUECHUA NATION, PERU
A long time ago, the Creator put inside the 
human being the secrets to the laws of life. 
We usually know this is true even though 
we may not know what these laws are. 
If something goes wrong with our lives, we
usually fix the blame on something outside of
ourselves. We tend to give up accountability. 
One way or another we say, "It's not my fault."
We need to realize that all permanent and 
lasting change starts on the inside and 
works its way out. 
If it's meant to be, it is up to me.
Oh Great Spirit, let me realize fully that 
my problems are of my own making. 
Therefore, so are the solutions.
Remember: Every time that you point your
finger at me, there are SEVEN pointing back
at you! 

Monday, January 21, 2013

More About Moi

Here I go again.....  About myself... Trying to give that "special" someone a clue to what it means to me me, what I've done to get where I am....and maybe even a clue to change:


I really use to be a Very Unhappy, Angry & Bitchy woman.....  Bet you would never have guessed that one, huh?  So back around the time of my Saturn Return (Look it up) http://astrology.about.com/od/advancedastrology/p/SaturnReturn.htm  my life took a particular turn for the worse and I was given a choice: get Spiritual or go see Creator!  In other words get well and live or stagnate and die!  Luckily for me I lived around the corner from Thomas Institute of Metaphysics, where I took classes, and volunteered in the book store.  The opening of my intuition, mind, & belief system saved my sorry ass from a life in Hell.


From Thomas Institute, I went on to meet several Native American elders and volunteer at Hay Ride (an open forum & healing gathering for those w/ hiv & aids concerns). I was with Hay Ride for 3 years.

At Hay Ride I learned the power of love, self-talk, & affirmations. From the Native American elders, I learned about the healing power of prayer & ceremony as well as living an Attitude of Gratitude and life as a "Give-Away". 


I give thanks every-single-morning & night, as well as throughout the day to Creator for my life & well being.  About 10 years ago, every night before I went to sleep, I began to write down 3-5 things daily for which I was Grateful. Even the smallest piece of chocolate, my cat purring, a massage, a hummingbird or a hawk was something I'd write down.  I did this exercise for about 3 years, and my life began to change from one of poverty (physical & emotional) to one of abundance.  Because of my current situation @ work, I do this same exercise every day at work before I leave for the day.


Affirmations: I have cards on my desk, I have written ones pasted to my mirrors, I say them as I fall asleep (more to that later), and at one point I listened to a tape of myself affirming the goodness of my life w/ wonderful background music.

Going to sleep, as of late, has been most stressful.... I'd come from work angry and I'd go to sleep with hateful angry thought in my mind and I'd wake up angry and stressed.  So I began changing my thoughts. I go to sleep thinking about love & comfort and I awake much more rested and happier.  What is interesting was, right after I came up with this idea/practice about two weeks later, I was listening to Jo Dunning (an amazing woman) and she said the same thing.  She compared our minds at sleep to a data file and our subconscious as the hard drive.  In essence saying that what we go to sleep thinking is downloaded into the hard drive of our subconscious and that in turn affects our conscious thought patterns & life.



I have also learned the importance of laughter, for me, not too much out there is so "sacred" that it can not be made light of. I love to laugh and point out the ridiculousness of a situation as well as Laugh At Myself.  My Grandfathers Wallace Black Elk & Marcellus Bear Heart both taught me that "Laughter is Good Medicine". They could & would joke about everything....  Laughter is healing and if you can not laugh at yourself, then you are doomed to tears.

Photo: lol > http://www.jokideo.com < lol

So through meditation, affirmations, ceremony, love & opening my being to Creator I have become a much happier, healthier, loving & open woman. This is not to say, that I do not still have my moments, I do... I'm being tested now and have been for the past year @ work.  


I have a running conversation w/ Creator throughout the day.... I listen and speak. I pray.  I Always begin my prayers w/ "Tunkashila, Thank-You For....."  I am affirming that my prayers are a "done deal", I'm not begging...although I am a pitiful two-legged, I am not a person in need of pity or poverty of my soul.


Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, has the right to be happy and live a comfortable life.  However, Happiness Is A Choice and a Person has to do the Work on a Daily basis in order to have a Happy life. So, when you keep thinking the shit you think and perpetuate it by purposely doing wrong to others (sneaking behind their backs, lying about them to management, fucking with their job, work, [for lack of a better word] "authority", and cyber-stalking them), then you are Screwing Yourself Out of Happiness.

Personally, I do my best to ignore those that BULLY Me and understand that they Are Not Well People. And even though I pray for them, for their own "Highest Good", I do not forget... for when the time comes I will be witness to their own undoing.

But, through it All, I Do The Work.... The Work That Keeps Me Walking in Balance (as much as possible)... I Do the Work That Keeps Me Well. I Do NOT Blame Others for My Situation. I Take Responsibility for my Relationship w/ Others and My Life.


Do you get it yet?  Wicosi ni Wioki......

Sunday, January 20, 2013

So, You Want to Be Me......

Jealousy, sucks! Envy is a monster (as you might be, when it takes over your life)....

Yes I have: responsibility, "power", respect, popularity, privilege, freedom within my job. Why, you ask?

I Am Honest (No Lying about my life);
I Know My Job backwards & forward w/ my eyes closed (No Lying about my skills/knowledge) ;  
I Am Real (No Phoney/Baloney Bull Shitting People); 
I Deal Fairly (No Ass Kissing, Rules are the same for All, No Doing Favors to be liked); 
I speak in a Real Voice (Not Saccharine Phony Sweet); 
I Work my Butt off (I do NOT Whine about my wrists hurting and being in too much pain to work); 
No matter how little I have, I Share (I do Not cry "Poor"); 
I Accept my weakness (No Crying "Poor Me" in order to glean Pity);
I provide "service" (I do NOT pass my customers/work off to others when I do not know the answer or how to do it); 
I know & follow policy (No taking shortcuts because it is too much work or makes me unpopular); 
I provide excellent work product (No paper cut-out labels, incorrect spelling, 1/2 finished work); 
I do Not have Carpal Tunnel, I do not report injury in order to get out of doing my job (if I did I wouldn't be typing/documenting every-single-thing that every-single-employee allegedly said/did, nor would I be able to spend HOURS cutting out snowflakes & pictures for displays or lifting gallon water bottles all day. I 'd be staying home); 
I Am NOT Paranoid (I do not "Retaliate" for imagined ills done to me or make veiled threats aloud to other people);
I enjoy good relationships (I am not Fake, I do not Pretend to be nice so people will like me);
I am NOT a Victim or a Bully (I do Not victimize others while claiming the injustice was done to me);
When/if I am wrong, I admit it (I'm not going to make excuses, place blame elsewhere, or lie about it)

Even if I do not like someone, I'm Not going to sneak behind them and mess with their work when they are away. I'm not going to hide important papers, documents or information from them.  I'm not going to usurp their job, position & "authority". I'm not going to lie and tell everyone that they are "out to get me fired".  I am not going to spend all my time cyber-stalking them.

I have integrity, ethics, and "I Own My Shit"! I have a very strong work ethic. I am proud of my work, I do what I say I will do and in a timely manner. I am not lazy, I revel in that I enjoy a strong sense of accomplishment.... I like to see the fruits/products of my labor. I dislike being bored, so I help others, just to be working. I am accurate and willingly take time to do things correctly and uniformly. 

In other words: I am happy & content with who and what I am. I am at peace with the world and what Creator has put before me. I am GRATEFUL for Everything I have & Everything I am. I am here to be of service to the Planet.  Everyday I wake up and go about my day is a day of Thanksgiving.

My World Is a World of Peace, Love, & Prosperity: I am Peaceful, I Am Loving, I Am Loved, and I Am Prosperous.


So, You Still Want to Be Me? This is what it takes.... Put up or Shut the Hell Up & Get off My Back!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Do Ya Want ta Eat Wid da Fishes?

So, we were @ the beach in Ventura, minding our own business and watching the waves, when this guy approaches us. Now mind you, were were not dressed up, but for cold weather, and we're not all made up either.... just very casual.

So he introduces his self as "Angelo" and he's "looking for some girls." Well, you know he's not talking to us, we are Women (Older Women)..... But wait, he is talking to us! OMG!  So he starts running his mouth, as if we are to be impressed with him... but honestly, he looks, sounds & talks just like a stereotypical Italian gangster from the Bronx.... 

(DISCLAIMER: This is Not actually Angelo, merely a very close facsimile we found on Google Images) 
Lo and Behold, he Is from the Bronx, and he is Italian, and better yet he is here to open up an "Underwater Italian Restaurant".  REALLY?  So the conversation goes like this:

A: "So would ya eat at my restaurant?"
M: "No"
A: "Why not?"
M: "The fault line"
A: "Huh"
M: "Dude, Earthquakes.....BIG ONES!"
A: "Nah I got the Japanese comin' in.... It's gonna be earthquake proof"
M: "Yeah? That's what they said about Fukishima!"
A: "Huh?"

Then he looks at us again and says: "Are you lovers? Is ok if you are, I don't mind if you're lovers!"   Wow, I so needed his approval.....

So from there it very rapidly went south, and him Never Once Getting a Clue..... But he kept on trying to up the ante w/ famous Investors: Stallone, Danza, Loggins & Brooke Shields. Then by saying he'd be serving "spaghetti & meatballs
and pasta fazul. Instead of bread-sticks we're gonna serve pizza w/ every meal and FREE Wine!"

Continuing merrily along, Angelo tells me, how he's being stopped by the cops, Three (3) different times, but that he gave them coupons for his restaurant and they went away...  He doesn't understand why they would stop him? M: "Because, Dud, You Don't Match!"  A: "You mean my hair?"  At this point I look at his clothing, I look down at my sweats and stick out my legs for him to see... M: You just don't match!"  He never did get it... I told him to go someplace else, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, or even Santa Barbara....

Then he brings up John Gotti, saying he must look like he's working with the Gotti Family, but that he's not with them.... and have I ever heard of Jonh Gotti?  Really?

Finally I tell him: "Angelo, That's enough. Buona Notte."  So he shakes my hand & goes on to a group of three young guys on the beach.

Oh the highlight of my day.... But maybe I should have taken his number, I know someone I work with I'd liked to have set him up with......

Monday, January 7, 2013

Carpal Tunnel From Obesity? Really?


OUCH!  This is Carpal Tunnel... It hurts like Hades. I know, I began to experience it years back.  Thankfully I sought holistic help immediately and through massage and exercise it went away! VOILA!

I have been questioned, repeatedly, at work about my Carpal Tunnel. Let Me Make This Perfectly Clear:
I DO NOT HAVE CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!  What I had was a sprain (which I worked out, once again, holistically) and now I have a Fraking Pinched Nerve (from people standing on it), which I am also working out in a holistic manner.

Anyway, I have been researching Carpal Tunnel and what I read on two different sites was: Carpal Tunnel is not usually caused by excess typing or mouse use.. but it can be caused by "Obesity"!  I'm like, "Dude? Really?"  So, like check out these quotes form these sites:

A.D.A.M. Medical Encyclopedia.

Carpal tunnel syndrome

Median nerve dysfunction; Median nerve entrapment
Last reviewed: November 19, 2012.
Carpal tunnel syndrome is a condition in which there is pressure on the median nerve -- the nerve in the wrist that supplies feeling and movement to parts of the hand. It can lead to numbness, tingling, weakness, or muscle damage in the hand and fingers.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The median nerve provides feeling and movement to the "thumb side" of the hand (the palm, thumb, index finger, middle finger, and thumb side of the ring finger).
The area in your wrist where the nerve enters the hand is called the carpal tunnel. This tunnel is normally narrow, so any swelling can pinch the nerve and cause pain, numbness, tingling or weakness. This is called carpal tunnel syndrome.
Some people who develop this problem were born with a carpal tunnel that is small.
Many people believe that carpal tunnel syndrome is caused by making the same hand and wrist motion over and over. In fact, using hand tools that vibrate may lead to carpal tunnel.
Yet, there are no good studies that prove carpal tunnel is caused by typing on a computer, using a mouse, or repeating movements while working, playing an instrument, or playing sports.
Carpal tunnel syndrome occurs most often in people 30 to 60 years old, and is more common in women than men.
Other factors that may lead to carpal tunnel syndrome include:
  • Alcohol abuse
  • Bone fractures and arthritis of the wrist
  • Cyst or tumor that grows in the wrist
  • Infections
  • Obesity
  • If your body keeps extra fluids during pregnancy or menopause
  • Rheumatoid arthritis


    Carpal tunnel syndrome

    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Jump to: navigation, search
    Carpal tunnel syndrome
    Classification and external resources
    Transverse section at the wrist. The median nerve is colored yellow. The carpal tunnel consists of the bones and flexor retinaculum.
    ICD-10 G56.0
    ICD-9 354.0
    OMIM 115430
    DiseasesDB 2156
    MedlinePlus 000433
    eMedicine orthoped/455 pmr/21 emerg/83 radio/135
    MeSH D002349
    Carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS) is an entrapment  
    median neuropathy, causing paresthesia, pain, numbness, and other symptoms in the distribution 
    of the median nerve due to its compression at the 
    wrist in the carpal tunnel. The pathophysiology 
    is not completely understood but can be considered compression of the median nerve traveling 
    through the carpal tunnel.[1] It appears to be 
    caused by a combination of genetic and 
    environmental factors.[2] Some of the 
    predisposing factors include: diabetes,  
    obesity, pregnancy, hypothyroidism, and heavy 
    manual work or work with vibrating tools but 
    not lighter work even if repetitive.[2]
    The main symptom of CTS is intermittent  
    numbness of the thumb, index, long and radial 
    half of the ring finger.[3] The numbness often 
    occurs at night, with the hypothesis that the 
    wrists are held flexed during sleep. Recent 
    literature suggests that sleep positioning, such as sleeping on one's side, might be an associated 
    factor.[4] It can be relieved by wearing a wrist splint that prevents flexion.[5] Long-standing CTS 
    leads to permanent nerve damage with constant numbness, atrophy of some of the muscles of
     the thenar eminence, and weakness of palmar abduction.[6]
    Pain in carpal tunnel syndrome is primarily 
    numbness that is so intense that it wakes one
     from sleep. Pain in electrophysiologically 
    verified CTS is associated with misinterpretation
     of nociception and depression.[7]
    Conservative treatments include use of night 
    splints and corticosteroid injection. The only scientifically established disease modifying 
    treatment is surgery to cut the transverse carpal ligament.[8]

    OBESITY!   Not Typing or repetitive movements? Wow, like who ever would have thought?  So get off my azz and take a good look around.....   I type every-single-day, ALL Day; Labels, documents, e-mails, book reviews, for 32+ years... I Still Do Not Have Carpal Tunnel....

    Carpal Tunnel? One needs an EMG Test. If there was a previous EMG and there was no major surgery and one has not been removed from the job, and has lived to tell about it... One Does NOT Have Carpal Tunnel!  

    If one works in a library/office setting and has Carpal Tunnel one would not be able to: type any manner of documentation on every-single overheard or included in conversation what-so-ever, emails, or memos all day long.....  One would not be limited to lifting over 10 lbs. One would not be able to stay on the job, because the pain would be so great that working would be impossible... The Worker's Compensation Doctor would remand one to stay at home.

    Let's be real, Carpal Tunnel is a Crippler....It requires an EMG and Major Surgery....   Is it worth the painful medical procedures and time off to make the claim?  If one refuses the EMG & surgery required to eliminate the symptom, how does one continue to type; documents, memos, e-mails for over 5 hours a day, as well as spend hours cutting out detailed graphics, art pieces, & paper-cut-outs for displays?  Wouldn't the pain of Carpal Tunnel make it impossible to do that type of fine finger movement & repetitive work?

    I guess, Inquiring Minds Want to Know.......


Sunday, January 6, 2013

Turning Negative Emotions Into Inspiration

I am now seeing a chiropractor: Dr. Mark Anthony, for a pinched nerve.  As we were talking, I explained that I knew it was stress induced due to the emotional trauma I encounter on almost a daily basis. That this physical manifestation began with a scratched/infected throat, then went to deafness in my left ear and now this pinched nerve.  

I freely admit that not only did I no longer want to talk about the b.s. I encounter, I didn't want to hear anything about it either.... But this crazy-making insanity I deal with on an almost daily basis has me tied up in knots.

Which brings me to this new treatment, and why I am writing (again) on my blog......  There is something called B.E.S.T., which is a treatment for transforming those negative emotions we carry into to something good and inspiring.  My two issues are being transformed into "Imagination" and "Inspiration"... thus releasing the negativity in to Creative Thinking & Writing on this blog. 

Yes! That is correct! The treatment has my negative feeling & thoughts about all the "stuff" I deal with turning into imaginative & inspirational writings!

To find out more about this new treatment, just follow either of the links below......



This is Difficult

This is a hard one.....  

You know dealing w/ psychosis induced harassment 6-9 hours per day:4-5 days a week, makes it most difficult for a normal healthy person to not "justify" the resentment they feel at the psychotic abuser/bully. Especially when the the abuse is allowed to continue and the abuser has been allowed to run rampant over a period of approximately 10 years.

How does one deal with the soul-crushing sadness? What will it take to have healing? What will it take for the victims to stand up & fight back? What will it take before it comes to an end?

I do my best to comprehend the "other side", I look for explanations, I search the A.P.A. Manual of Diagnosis.... I search the internet:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, psychcentral.com

But there are no guidelines on how to deal with the insanity nor how to not be affected by it.  That's what I need, not platitudes about being better by forgiving, ignoring.....

I want it over and the healing to be complete, without lasting scars and resentment at those who allowed and nurtured it.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Being Real: Me Being Myself

So here I am, and there you are....  You have become an inspiration to me... inspiring me into creative thought & verbiage.

I have a very keen sense of self and intuitive knowledge.  I see and know who people are, because I take time to observe what is not always obvious to the eyes & ears of others.

I take great pride in my work and what I do out in the world.  I actually care about others, not as a ruse to induce them into liking me (I am not a "charmer"), but as a warm heart.

I have worked at my career for over 32 years. Therefore I know what I am doing, I know policy and am able to explain it to others.  Should I choose to "bend a rule", it is not to make a person like me, but it is as either an act of charity or to stop an episode of ugliness from escalating. I know my job so well, that I can do it with my eyes shut... 

I take pride in my work, I do my best to make my work product neat, concise, attractive and in sync with official guidelines.  Should there be a mistake, I am quick to spot it and correct it, especially if it is one I myself made, for I dislike sloppy work. 

I am willing to help others with what ever job needs doing, because I do not like sitting idle and not accomplishing anything more than fanciful paperwork. I believe that if something needs doing and I have the time & knowledge, then there is no reason for me to not do the work, especially if the person whose job it is happens to be busy with another project.  I mean, really, what does it hurt me to work, even if it "isn't my job"? I'm getting paid to work, so I do.  

I do my best to make the place where I work open, warm & hospitable to the Community. I do my best to make the collection of materials fit the needs and interests of our customers.  I strive to keep our materials in very good, clean condition.

As a supervisor, I believe I should know every one of my staffs' job function and be able to take over for them at any given time in less than a second's notice.  I am more than willing to fill-in and handle any problem as it should arise.  I know to train the staff so that should I not be available, they know policy well enough to handle minor problems themselves with confidence and to ask for help when they encounter a larger problem.

 When I am too ill/hurt to work, I stay home.  If I am unable to work, why go to work and sit there doing nothing?  There is no point to sit and do nothing, for it then becomes about "Poor Me, Me, Me" and not about doing my job. If there is work I am able to do, I will happily do it.... I'm not going to sit & whine and have people feel sorry for me, or ask them to do my work.... I will find something I can do, and I will do it to the best of my ability or I will go home.

For the most part, I enjoy working with the people I work with....  For the most part, everyone does their best to make for a happy, comfortable, and welcoming place of business.

I understand that some people are envious of me... That they want to be like me. But they do not understand that part of what makes me who I am is that I have a very sound work ethic. I LIKE to Work. I Like to see that I have physically accomplished something. I like to see that my work is accurate and attractive. I like to be of service and provide accurate information as well materials of interest to our customers.  I Like making people Happy. In the end, it isn't about "Me,Me,Me" and the stroking of my ego, it Is About Being of Service to Others.

There is a saying I live and work by: In the end, your work in this lifetime will be measured on the scale of Creator. 

So that is about it for now........  If I have forgotten something, I'll be sure to come back and add it.