30 Cents

I work in a Library.  I have for over 30 years.  The Library, like every other place of business has terms and conditions of use.  One of those is Late Item Fees, better known as OVERDUE Fines!

When a person signs for a Library Card, they accept the responsibility of proper care & use of materials as well as adhering to loan periods.

Where I work, you can borrow most items for THREE (3) weeks and renew them Three (3) times, unless there is a request/hold on that item, for a total of TWELVE (12) Weeks...that's like 84 days. 

You can renew your item by telephone, in person at ANY Library in our system, or online.  Heck, we even send you a 3-day warning e-mail as a reminder of the due date, if that's what you request.

So then, what's the big whine about a book being 1 day late and owing 30 cents? I mean, really, if you don't want to pay your fines, fine, don't.....you can still check-out materials until that magic limit is reached..... If you're decent and have a really good reason, we even consider giving you a break on your fines (as well as your arm).....

However, please remember, we do explain it ALL to you (shades of Sister Mary Ignatius) when you register for a Library Card (we even give you a printed copy of our policies).....  So GET OVER IT...pay the 30 cents but, Do NOT scream at the staff or call them nasty names as if it's their fault for your being remiss.

Duh? Do You Have to Comprehend English to Work Here?

Well it's another day at the liberry.....

Today the part time staff was asked to fill out a form that would enable those qualified to receive "stimulus" funds from the Federal Government.

Well, the first question was something to the effect: Do you have children at home ( minors under the age of 18) that you support financially? Yes No

It seems really straightforward to me......

Do you know that several of the people did not understand the question? Now these are not people who are new here...only one of them has a poor grasp of the English language (how she can correctly shelve materials is another story for another time). And another (from Iran) asked why this didn't include her elderly parents....how unfair it was!

Sheet...and these people work in a liberry!

Makes you wonder don't it!

Library Avengers: Why You Better Fall on Your Knees and WORSHIP a Librarian

Avenging 29 Nov 2007 06:47 pm

Worship

Why you should fall to your knees and worship a librarian

Ok, sure. We’ve all got our little preconceived notions about who librarians are and what they do.

Many people think of librarians as diminutive civil servants, scuttling about “Sssh-ing” people and stamping things. Well, think again buster.

Librarians have degrees. They go to graduate school for Information Science and become masters of data systems and human/computer interaction. Librarians can catalog anything from an onion to a dog’s ear. They could catalog you.

Librarians wield unfathomable power. With a flip of the wrist they can hide your dissertation behind piles of old Field and Stream magazines. They can find data for your term paper that you never knew existed. They may even point you toward new and appropriate subject headings.

People become librarians because they know too much. Their knowledge extends beyond mere categories. They cannot be confined to disciplines. Librarians are all-knowing and all-seeing. They bring order to chaos. They bring wisdom and culture to the masses. They preserve every aspect of human knowledge. Librarians rule. And they will kick the crap out of anyone who says otherwise.

From: www.libraryavengers.org

More Petty B.S. Games @ the Library: April 22, 2009

Today is a fine example of the "professionalism" I have to deal with on a daily basis:

We have had a calendar up on the outside wall of a cubicle, which faces 5 other people's desk & for the staff for over NINE [9] Years. This calendar has all the legal holidays marked on it as well as the due dates of our timesheets, reference survey dates, and paydays...etc.

Last week the calendar went missing.....I found it stashed away in the supply closet and put it back up.

It was gone again on Friday and I put it back up....

It was gone again today....and some stupid poster on the Latina Bridal Show (that has received some disparaging remarks) was there instead.....

So I'm looking for the calendar,, and it's on the back wall behind my desk, where no one can see it!

My "acting-manager" tells me..."well he doesn't want it on the wall" To which I respond; "But it's on the Outside of the wall (where he can not see it) and we all use it and it's been there for NINE Years"

She says: "well it's his wall." So, I move the calendar to an adjacent wall, so everyone can still see it.

An hour later I come back......and I notice the Bridal Poster is gone and the wall is blank! Then he starts kissing up and asking for my help with a huge project he's working on!

Just fucking amazing and petty! This passive aggressive game playing has been going on against me since this kid got there. He's 30 yrs old, I'm 54! I have been at this job longer than he has been alive, and I have the same MLIS degree that he has + a CA Teachers' Credential.

So like what is going on here...this isn't the only game he's gone behind me on. Two weeks past he took more than 25 books out of the Mystery collection (that I oversee), ripped off the stickers and added them to the Fiction collection (that he oversees) in order to "bump up the collection". He didn't tell anyone, didn't even ask the "acting manager"...just did it.

One week before that, he tried to hold my budget for Books on CD hostage, and tried to take it over! He was called down on that, and when he came in on Monday...was being really phony sweet...and I called him on it...he apologized and said I was "right" and he had his own funds to spend....etc.

So, I have to go to work everyday and deal with immature, non-professional, passive aggressive, controlling, back-stabbing, women-hating behavior (which is why he was transferred to this library to begin with)! I'm doing all I can to keep my mouth shut....but I'll tell you, I'm praying for him to be happy & far away from me.

A Library Rant or How I Am Learning to No Longer Love My Job

What I miss is before the new, younger, competitive, controlling & more knowledgeable (tongue in cheek) staff took over is the fact that we all use to work together as a team and that each day was filled with laughter.

We all respected each others areas of expertise and collection responsibility. No one tried to control or appropriate anyone else's budget, no one tried to give my staff orders (except me, of course) , no one waived a fine without my or my manager's consent.

In other words, I am having a Hell of a hard time with the younger librarians (30 years of age & younger) who happen to believe that they are far more advanced than I am (with 35 years experience). Now, we all got our degrees at the same exact time (and I still have 2 more than they do), but because I happen to see value in some of the older books and videos I am told that I am outdated, out of fashion, not up-to-date.

I also happen to know my community and "Parental Advisory" music is just not on the top of their lists for listening pleasure...my community (not to mention the film school students) happens to love old "classic" B&W movies as well as "Classic" films in other languages.

All of the books have been removed from the bottom shelves because they are too hard to get to, yet...the NEW BOOK shelf is not only Lower Than My Waist, but hexagonal and it makes one dizzy having to bend over to see the books at hip & knee height while walking around in a circle with your head bent to one side!

I don't do "gaming", I'm not here for live entertainment, I thought libraries were about literature, films, audiobooks and information. We have very limited funding, so why are we buying multiple copies of "Guitar Hero" and other Wii games, especially when the majority of the attendees is our staff? Why do we spend our materials budget on furniture for the teens? We have a multi-million dollar joint-use library at the high school, that happens to stay open late so we no longer have the hordes of teens doing their homework that we once did.

I still love my staff They are a GREAT Team and do a Damned Good Job!

I miss the "professional" team work & the laughter...but At Least I still have a job!

@ the Library: Your Local Library is a Twisted Place

Funner & Funner

It’s been a while since I’ve posted any search terms here so I thought I’d entertain you by posting a few highlights from the last week. So without further ado, and in reverse chronological order, here it goes:

woeful librarian - You found me. I hope you enjoyed your visit

the dude - I abide

katee sackhoff - Blonde tomboy spacegirl awaits

homeless porn - I prefer porn that has a home

should bounty hunters have partners - domestic or otherwise?

stink panty - LOL!

debbie gibson playboy - Ahh, an old favorite

kooky stuff about scientology philosophy - Is there any other kind?

creepy stalkers at the library - Sadly, yes.

suicidegirls ala - [sigh]

like a monkey on a cupcake - This cracks me up every time

“@ the library” - Note the quotes, probably a librarian. Greetings & Felicitations!

ferris bueller’s day off ed rooney - Or L. Ron Hubbard?

nextgen librarian porn - How modern

stupid library patrons - Some days we practically drown in them

bettie page - RIP

hot librarian - Thank you

clowns to the left of me jokers to the r - Yes

“bizarre breasts” - Wow

my stalker - Must we go there?

librarian bacardi advertisement - My favorite!

vagrant porn - This is for you Tom

bar, library, book - Now you’re talking

libraries essential closings recessions - More than ever…

jersey city weed - Nice

Those are just the highlights… Oh and before I forget, a patron found a blood-stained sanitary napkin on the floor in the Women’s Room today just before closing. Always a great way to kick-off the weekend!

From: @ the Library: Your Local Library is a Twisted Place

http://librarianwoes.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/funner-funner/#comment-5890

Library Humor

From: Closed Stacks Librarian's Blog

Is that funny?

24Feb09

I told a librarian joke the other day. A friend and I were talking about teaching and communicating and I made the comment “I’m just terrible at disseminating information.”

It wasn’t a joke so much as a smart-assed comment, but the person I was talking to had no idea I was trying to be funny.

“That was a joke,” I said, “That’s my job, as a librarian. That’s what we do.”

He just shrugged.

That got me thinking, there are bound to be a ton of librarian jokes out there that I haven’t heard (cause I haven’t really heard any). A profession as widely stereotyped as ours presents tons of opportunities. So I did some web-based research, and found a couple sites. Of course, all the jokes I found were all about stereotypes, but a few rang true enough.

Here are a few that I thought were cute:

The new school librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a ‘Contract’ for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a third grader who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought three books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech, he said scornfully, “The other librarian we had knew how to write.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

A blonde walked into a library and said,
“Can I have a burger and fries?”
The librarian said, “Sorry, this is a library.”
So the blonde whispered, “Can I have a burger and fries?”

—————————————————————————————————————————————
An eight year girl is trying to check out a book entitled
” Advice for Young Mothers” from the local library.

Librarian: Now why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?

Little girl: I collect moths.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
Lightbulb Jokes:

How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb? Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!

How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.

How many cataloguers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one provided it is in AACR2.

How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb? (with a perky smile) “Well, I don’t know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!”

How many library system managers does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).

How many library managers does it take to change a lightbulb? At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.

How many library technicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8 if you count the librarian they all report to)