WASHINGTON, D.C. – NASA scientists said Monday they have found evidence of intermittent water flow on the surface of California, a finding that challenges prevailing views about the desolate planet, sources report.
In a news conference today, NASA officials announced that imagery from the Bayside Reconnaissance Orbiter (“BRO”) revealed trace amounts of water flowing down the slopes of the Sierra Nevada mountains.
“California is not the barren, arid hellscape we thought of in the past,” said Jim Green, director of planetary science at NASA Headquarters. “Of course, the search continues for intelligent life.”
Researchers noted this is not the first sign of water in California. In 2012, satellite imagery showed celebrity actors carrying bottled water in Hollywood, a lifeless crater in the state’s southernmost desert. Later research found this water had been imported from Fiji.
The potential consequences of the discovery are far-reaching, but NASA officials cautioned Earth inhabitants of the dangers that await potential human occupants of California.
“As crazy as it sounds, California may be a habitable planet,” said Green. “But new colonies will still have to contend with earthquakes, oppressive heat, and the residents of Los Angeles.”
John Clark missed several opportunities to make a joke about Fresno.